Self control

 The day Sarah answered the phone to me was the day my life changed course forever.

The only thing I knew at that point was that I couldn’t continue drinking at the levels I was and I couldn’t stop on my own.
I had tried to follow the GPs advice, the self-help, the drinks diaries. All this did was confirm the view I had of myself that this was all my fault and I couldn’t get out of it. It was spiralling in one direction and although, miraculously, I held a full-time professional job, and responsibilities as wife and mother, there was not going to be a happy ending if I didn’t do something.

From the moment I first spoke to Sarah, feeling directionless and frightened, I immediately felt contained. As our therapeutic bond grew, she held hope for me through those difficult early times. I knew I could trust her to hold all the difficult emotional stuff that began to emerge, and I fumbled to get a grip of it myself. Having Sarah made me realise just how alone I had been, trapped by the shame of it all. She stood beside me all the way through my journey. She cheerleadered my triumphs, she held my hand and guided me when I needed it and at times she picked me up and carried me. I have never felt so understood or cared for by another human. More importantly, she helped me grow hope for myself, to take bold and courageous steps and to realise the future with alcohol was not a grey and joyless abyss. It is amazing! No crippling anxiety at 4am, no “how will I get through the day?”, no “where is the next glass coming from and when”. I am truly in control, making healthy positive choices and my physical and mental health have never been better.

Sarah, you have given me the greatest gift. Liberation. You will never know how grateful I, and my family are that we found each other. You are truly a lifesaver.

Author: Sarah Turner

Founder of the Harrogate Sanctuary.